Ang hirap ng finals ko kanina. Ang dami kong ginawa para dun: natulog nang 3am at gumising ng 6am (3 hrs of sleep), nang-istorbo ng mga kaklase para lang masiguradong mapeperpekto ko yun. Sobrang kinabahan din ako..napagod. Nung hapon na, kahit oras na muna ng pahinga ay ni hindi ako makakain ng mabuti. Wala na akong lakas para magsalita pa o makipag-todong kulitan pa sa mga kaklase ko kahit na ang saya-saya nilang kasama. Naramdaman kong mabigat na ang mga mata ko..mabigat na ang pakiramdam ko. Pero alam kong hindi pa nga tapos ang test ko. Nagpahinga muna ako ng konti. Yung proyektong kailangang matapos nung umaga, natapos naman. Ok naman ang kinalabasan kahit na kinulang sa oras, preparasyon at naging biglaan ang lahat.
Nung malapit na ang huling bahagi ng test sa gabi, naalala kong may hindi pa pala ako nagagawa at kailangang gawin na isa pang proyekto. Humingi ako ng tulong sa iba dahil pakiramdam ko, hindi na kaya ng katawan ko; pero sa huli, ako pa rin pala ang kailangang gumawa. Kaya ginawa ko. Mabuti may ibang tumulong sa akin. Salamat sa inyo. Nung natapos na ang test, kampante akong magaling ang ipinakita ko sa test. Subalit sa kabila ng lahat, naramdaman kong gusto kong umiyak. Umiyak hindi dahil sa sayang nararamdaman dahil tapos na ang lahat…sana nga ganun…pero parang lalong bumigat ang loob ko. Akala ko kapag ginawa ko na ang lahat, magiging maganda ang bunga ng mga pagsisikap ko. Sabi nila, pag binigay mo ang lahat ng kaya mo, lalo na’t umayon sa gusto mo ang mga pangyayari, magiging masaya ka na – fulfilled kumbaga. Pero iba ata ngayon. Bigla kong hinanap ang saya…yung fulfillment (ayon sa kanila)…yung mabuting pakiramdam na yun. Kinapa ko. Hinanap ko pero hindi ko natagpuan.
Last year pa 'tong photo mosaic na to. Naubusan na ata si Omi ng pictures kaya pati pictures ko with my high school friends at blockmates (na wala si mel), inilagay nya. hahaha :)My Wish
by: Rascal Flatts
I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
and each road leads you where you want to go,
and if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walking till you find the window,
if it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,
But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
I hope you never look back, but you never forget,
all the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
and you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
and always give more than you take.
But More than anything, Yeah, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish. Yeah.
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
Many people say that I am making my blog as my “rant page”. I put all my complaints, issues, problems, sadness, frustrations etc on this medium where everyone practically has an access to it. Well, honestly, it was never my intention to write nothing more but my sad life…I guess that’s just how things are happening lately…
Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.
The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.
A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain
The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Tonight
Insight
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.
