When I was younger and being asked what I think will happen to me in the future, somehow that future was not very clear to me. That was why I actually thought that time that maybe I would not live that long… But guess what? I’m living for more than 20 years now. I’m so full of life, ready to take on anything that comes my way. I have a future. I know I do.
Last Friday, we had our theology class at Loyola School of Theology. That time we were about to meet a very important person in father Jboy’s life. It was father Hontiveros, a Jesuit priest too. But there’s just this little twist in the story. Fr. Honti was lying there inside his coffin.
Father Jboy brought us to the exhibit of Fr. Honti and later on at his wake to teach us a very important lesson in life. It was about commitment. Father Jboy said that through our lives we would always making commitments. But somehow, in our life we have to reach a point when we choose where at what to devote our whole lives into. That would be our true (life) commitment. It is something that we drive us to our goals. It is something that would determine what is right and wrong to us, what direction to take, what to do and when to do it. Father Hontiveros found his life commitment. He became a priest. He composed songs to spread the Word of God. He was instrumental in F. Jboy’s life. He became a priest partly because of Fr. Honti. And somehow I really felt the pain of Fr. Jboy. Losing someone so dear, losing a mentor, a friend is just heartbreaking. But what I would never forget about the whole experience was the whole topic of commitment. Somehow we just neglect the commitments we made ourselves. And in the process, we not only lose ourselves but we also lose the people who had faith in us.
In the topic of commitment, I can’t say I already found that one commitment where I would center my life into. But in terms of the different commitments I made but failed miserably, I would like to think I learned from all of it.
The biggest commitment I made this year was becoming part of the COA Central Board. I may not have passed with flying colors, but I would like to think that at least I tried. There were times when I got lost and I failed so damn hard. And I am sorry about all those times. I really am. But I would like to think I also had my positive contribution to COA this year, especially to SBC. If I were to choose what I would want people to remember me by (as their SBC sec-treas), was the fact that I tried to reach out to people, to other EB members, to be close to presidents..the one person who treated the MVP 214-219 as her home (because it is). Now that I am close to handing my position to someone else, I hope he will do better than I do/did. I just wanted all the best for it. Maika knows that. And it was worth the tears. It really is. My college life is more of an org life than an acad life. And COA, SPEED, Gabay at Kythe has a lot to do with it. What I would promise myself is that I will not stop being of service to other people even after I graduate. I would also see once in a while how SBC and COA are doing. But for the remaining months of my stay in Ateneo, I would just savor every moment. I don’t believe that all things have to come to end…there are just those things that are worth staying and living for… Death? Hmm..it will come but not anytime soon. Hahaha
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